Baloney & Swiss Cheese

Next the foundation, the mortar so to speak. Slather on a proper depth of mayonnaise. And by mayonnaise I mean Hellmann’s Real Mayonnaise, as if there were any other kind. Mayo is best scooped out with a large spoon rather than a knife, to insure proper coverage and depth of spread. It goes without saying that the entire surfaces of both top and bottom bread slices should be coated edge to edge, at a depth of at least 6.34 mm. In our experience this is a minimum mayonnaise depth, one that achieves the proper moisture and mayonnaise tang taste level. Don’t skimp!!! If you feel you’ve applied too much mayonnaise, add more.

Next apply the baloney. DO NOT USE BEEF BALONEY!!!. For the love of God, this is not baloney. Only use pork, with true pork flavor. And it is essential that the baloney be thinly sliced, but not too thinly. Let experience be your guide. There is controversy over whether to roll the slices before applying, or to apply thin layers, gradually building to a proper depth. Rolling slices, IMO, gives a false sense of adequate baloney coverage and often results in under coverage. Layering gives control and assures a baloney depth, at a minimum, equal to mayonnaise depth.

Next the Swiss. Don’t be fancy. If you buy a block of Jarlsberg and try to cut it thinly, you’ll fail. Thick chunks of Swiss dominate the bite and taste profile, creating a massive fail. Ideally have your deli professional thin slice a good quality cheese. Or, as a second best, buy a packaged, processed sliced Swiss cheese. Hey, you’re eating this sandwich so don’t get shy now. Two layers of thinly sliced Swiss is ideal. No more. No less.

There must be no argument about this last ingredient. None. Sweet Bread and Butter pickle chips should be applied in a single layer across the breadth and width of the sandwich. Dill pickles nullify the sandwich. The absence of pickles nullifies the sandwich. Consider yourself warned!

Carefully place the top layer of mayonnaise coated bread on the bottom layer and carefully cut, with a serrated knife, on the diagonal. Step back and admire.

The first bite must be at the corner. If mayonnaise fails to drip onto the plate or down your arm, you’ve applied too little. Enjoy.

RECOMMENDED SIDES: green onions and a side of mayonnaise dip.